Introduction!

So I ended up deleting the 5 posts I previously had on here because I want to start new. I want to change the purpose of this blog. As a reflection place for me, a source of support for others, and as a tool of education to help dispel stigmas and stereotypes surrounding depression.
That said...new intro!

Hello! My name is Casey and I'm from the United States. I'm 22 and a recent college graduate with absolutely no idea what I want to do in life. I love reading (like, LOVE LOVE reading), lounging in the grass at parks, making lists, riding my bike, backpacking, and traveling. I'm a huge anthropology nerd.
I'm actually unsure of how long I've been living with depression-my whole life? There was definitely something off in high school, but it wasn't really in full swing then. It was really sophomore year in college that depression became a present factor in my life. There really is no trigger for it that I am aware of. It was pretty bad, but I thought I can handle it, this will pass. It's just a blip. But it didn't pass. That fall (junior year) I studied abroad in France. While it was a wonderful experience, it was also one of the lowest points in my depression. I was self-harming and purging almost everyday and suicidal thoughts were in full force. When I returned back to my university in the spring the depression still raged on, same with the following summer. Finally senior year it was getting out of control: I had so much stress (thesis, future plans, freaking out about leaving) on top of my "regular" depression and I wasn't sleeping well, or getting much done. I was self-harming a lot and I wasn't really living anymore, just existing. Then one day I knew I needed to get help for it. It was my senior year and I didn't want to spend it like this. I wanted to be able to live. So that week I went to see one of my professors (the one that went to France with our group) and told him "I don't feel alive anymore" and he was incredible. He gave me a hug and has been incredibly supportive. I eventually was put on antidepressants which has helped me feel a lot better.

I just wanted to throw this out there: I am here for you. I want to be a resource, a friend, a listener-whatever you need. So please, if you are lonely, sad, need to talk, advice, whatever-I want to be there for you because I know how lonely and painful it can be.
Hold on beautiful people!

"Normal is just an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly" (Not sure who said this)

-Casey